Ugh, week eight sucked. I managed not to gain but it still sucked.
5/11/09 Weigh in – 222.2 TWL -18.6lbs
That is so not the weight loss I wanted to see but I did nothing to really make a difference this week. I went to the gym once. Wednesday. That was it. My laziness was due to yet another excuse… I had aftercare payments. It took everything in me to get to the gym today. Do I feel better about myself…yes. The last 10 minutes dragged out though. I want to try the 7:30 yoga class on Thursday. Maybe I can get my friend to go with me.
Another reason why I felt so crappy is my horrific shopping experience I had Saturday afternoon. One of my BFF’s was having her birthday celebration at Blue Martini so I wanted something nice and new to wear. I was really hoping to get a dress that was reasonable that I could wear again for the last day of school party. Yeah, not so much luck at the stupid mall. I was there for 3 and a half hours and got nothing to wear but a new pair of shoes. Granted I needed the shoes but I WANTED a cute top or dress. I tried on anything and everything in Macy’s. It was either too expensive or too small still. I went up stairs to the “woman’s” department (or the fat lady section as I refer to it as) and that clothes was too big. *sigh* Being in between departments is even worse than in between sizes. You have no where to shop.
So I decided to venture out into the mall to other stores. HA what a freaking mistake that was. Did you know that express only goes up to 12 now? WTF is that? Does the company not understand that over one third of the female population is overweight and the average size is 12? Whatever. I’ll just add that store to my list of other stores I boycott like JCPenny’s. Back to my story… So Saturday night rolls around..I take a nap b/c I was tired from my pointless excursion and wake up to find that I have nothing to wear. I put on one outfit and my roomie tells me I look like I am headed to work. Conveniently enough, I bought the pants I had on for work. They fit but just were too casual. So I went in my room and lost it. I sobbed hysterically. I wasn’t crying because I thought she was being mean or anything but because it was true. I did look like I was going to work. Luckily my roommate is a great friend and lent me some jeans that were presentable and a tank top to wear under a top I had. I felt fat and gross and so defeated by the damn mall. Guess I should stick with Old Navy for the time being,where their 16’s make me happy. Overall I had fun Saturday night but deep inside was not truly happy because I gave in. I let myself down last week. I was lazy and full of excuses which is what led me to being my fat self anyway. Time to refocus and re-energize. I have a bathing suit to fit into next month.
*EDIT – 5/12
Well, this morning I weighed myself like I do every morning only to find the scale going in the opposite directions. 223.6 ARGH! I am in a piss poor mood today for that reason and a few others (waiting to hear from M about moving). I had a conference with a parent that didn’t show until it was 7:50 so I have to reschedule yet again. Just a crappy start to day 2 of my week. But the funny thing is that even though I felt gross this morning and didn’t want to get dressed I had SIX people stop me from the front office to my room and tell me how much thinner I was looking. One of them was someone who I never would have thought would mention my weight loss. It made me feel better for the 5 split seconds but then my funk settled back in.
