Life is like that roller coaster…up and down. Some people love it and the thrill of the rush while others seek the kiddie rides that aren’t as exciting. I sit on the fence. I enjoy the climb and the fear of the drop to the unknown. The drop is what I can’t handle. My heart races, palms get sweaty, everything. The feeling of not having control or even sight of what is to come is completely frightening. I love living in today, knowing what I have and where I am but the unknown of tomorrow scares me. Where will I live, who I marry, will I still enjoy my career in 10 more years, when will I have a family. So many questions that nothing but time can answer.
I am still trying to embrace letting go. M and I spoke about that this weekend. The only thing is, it causes me to lose sleep. I toss and turn all night. This week has been horrible. I don’t think I slept for maybe a total of 2 hours on Sunday night. I sat awake in bed thinking about my immediate future, work, where I will be living, and M. He calms me in a way no one can. Knowing that I will see him motivates me to push through the week even though I am exhausted and sleep deprived. It just means one less week until he’s out. We really hit on some serious conversations this weekend. We share a lot with each other about our own fears and feelings. Its theraputic. He has an amazingly positive outlook that is so refreshing considering where he is. Mr. C always says to surround yourself with positivity. It is contagious.
I was going through some of the blogs that I supscribe to and came across this today. I hope you find some kind of comfort in it as I have.
Ten Thoughts on Whole Living
1. Rediscover the pleasure of a snowy (rainy, cloudy) day.
2. Food has the power to transform.
Choose yours intentionally.
3. Let your soul weigh in on your decisions.
4. Don’t rush positive change.
The best kind comes gradually.
5. When you indulge, stop to savor every taste.
6. Each day has its small successes—take time to
celebrate them.
7. Beauty reflects self-care. Let yourself glow.
8. Your body craves motion. Allow it to flow in harmony with
your breath.
9. Instead of seeking love, see it—–everywhere.
10. Greet every day with a ritual
of gratitude and strength.
imnotbenny said,
November 16, 2008 at 5:15 am
I really like that list. I think I’m going to copy it and try to keep it in my mind. Thanks for posting it.