A fresh start…

January 25, 2010 at 4:26 pm (Uncategorized)

Well January had its set backs.  The condo situation is still unsettled and I was in an accident and my car was totaled.  I haven’t been in the best of mind frames to really feel good and want to make any positive changes but today is the day I choose to start over.

My BF moves home in 91 days!  NINETY-ONE!  That is just 3 months!  I need to get my butt back to the gym and eating healthy.  Here we go!

Starting Weight: 236.8  (I know I gained alot back… and quite frankly most of it was just this month!)

I’ll update next Monday!

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just another day…

December 29, 2009 at 10:03 am (Life, change, diets)

I faintly recall this activity…. Blogging I believe… let’s give it a try once again.

2009 was one heck of a year.  Some ups, a lot of downs, and a couple of in-betweens.  I now openly refer to my special friend (M) as my boyfriend.  We had a great summer and a not so great fall/winter.  He comes home in the Spring =).  I can’t wait.  Over-all work was good…drama filled as to be expected.  My view on a lot of different matters have changed.  I like staying in and watching wheel of fortune and big bang theory.  I don’t need to be out every night basically accomplishing nothing but wasting time and money.  I lost some weight and have kept most of it off.  I tried out for the biggest loser and lost!  Eff reality TV!  I lost my grandma *sniff* but had a great few days with the whole family.  I have found that trying to buy a home really sucks during a recession, especially when you have shit for credit.  I have started to rebuild friendships that I may have unknowingly pushed away and I stopped letting certain people bring me down.

Overall, if I had to do this year again, I would keep most of it the same with just a few alterations.

I don’t buy into this whole New Year’s crap with resolutions that NO ONE keeps.  It is just another way to indicate that yes, we are getting older and there is no changing that.  Instead of resolutions, I would like to plan goals, big and small, for this upcoming year.

Goal 1: Be more positive, smile more often, and just be friendlier.  I made some serious progress with that last year but I have a feeling this year will be even better!

Goal 2: Buy a home!  I have changed my plan.  Originally it was townhouses or SFH anywhere in Broward County… now I will settle for a condo because I am limiting myself to Ft Lauderdale, Davie, or Plantation.

Goal 3: Lose weight and get healthy!  Again this silly goal pops up.  I managed to lose some weight last spring and hopefully it will happen again as easily.  I am still undecided if I will do weekly blogs.  That will be decided at a later date.  You must have weight loss goals, short term and long term, in order to do it right.  So let’s see…

Short Term – have a set schedule/routine in place by the end of January with a weight loss of 7 -10 lbs.

Monthly Goals – lose between 8-10 lbs each month

Longer Term – Lose 35 lbs by May 1st and 45 lbs by July 1st.

My ideal weight is somewhere between 160 -170 lbs.  I am not sure what size that would make me but I am thinking about a 12.  I haven’t been that in YEARS.  So my entire weight loss goal for 2010… be a size 12 or 160 lbs by the end of the year.  This is my year.  I had my kick start last year so I know I can do it if i just stick to it.

This is all I have to say as of right now but there will be more to come.  More rants, complaints, senseless writings about things that just don’t matter, or heartfelt stories about the things that matter the most.

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week….?

September 1, 2009 at 2:19 am (Uncategorized)

So my last entry was Week 16…. that was like what, 2 months ago?  Do I pick up where I left off and say this is week 17 or do I actually count all the weeks in the summer where I didn’t try?  I haven’t decided yet.

I obviously did not meet my summer goal of 200 lbs by the time I went back to work.  Summer sucked for me as far as exercise went.  I didn’t do diddly squat.  I guess you could say I enjoyed my summer in other ways – naps, NCIS, and furloughs with M. My weight fluctuated between 218 and 222 all summer.  That’s not too terribly bad considering I ate like crap and didn’t exercise.

Monday Weigh-in: 221.8

September Goal: 215 (-7 lbs)

Manageable if I actually make it to the gym 4x a week.  I went yesterday to get started and am headed there now.  I am taking a spinning class tonight with Amy.  Its so hard to say no to someone who is always to bubbly and nice!
and at the GAP.  Its so exciting to not have to go to the “I have managed to only buy clothes in the “regular” women’s department at Macysfatlady” section.  I can’t wait to be a 14 so I can hit up Ann Taylor, J Crew and the Limited.

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Week 16 – What happened???

June 30, 2009 at 9:11 pm (Uncategorized)

End of year activities and summer vacation is what happened!!

I am sad to report that I did not make my June 1st goal of 215.  I have however managed to keep all weight off in the last 6 week and I am now ready to pick up where I left off.

6/29 Weigh in – 218 lbs  TWL -22.8lbs

My plan was to start back at the gym again yesterday but with the funk that I was in, I just did not make it.  Instead, I drove around for a little over 3 hours looking at houses (alone!) and felt like having an anxiety attack.  With the amount of money I have to work with, I am afraid I am going to end up living in the hood.  I am not in a huge rush to move out but I am ready to have my own space again.  I have been living here for 5 months and I want to have everything done and moved by december.  So after my pointless driving around I came home, emailed some, looked at my houses online, napped, and went to the chiropractor to help me with the horrible stress headache I had.

My problem here is that I can do alot but something of this size and seriousness intimidates me.  Its a process i have never done before with rules and catches that I have no clue about.  I am doing it alone with moral support from my parents and sister but overall, its all on my shoulders.  No husband or Bf to do it with me.  Its completely my decision and I just don’t want to settle.  I settled on my apartment I lived in before b/c I wanted to be out on my own.  I can not settle this time but I have preset ideas in my head about where I certainly DO NOT want to live and aspects of the home I must have (like it must have 2 bathrooms).  Would I love to move into central park into a little villa  just the right size for starting a family with a great park, stores and highways accessible – Hell yeah.  can I afford that…. Not even close.  but I have to keep reminding myself thats its my starter home… it’s going to be OK if its in the hood.  Where can I get a good rate on bars for the windows anyway?

Hrm, how did I get from my weight loss to that rant!?!?!?  I must get going to the gym before I lose my push again today and let my worries and stresses get the best of me.

GOALS:

July’s Goal: July 28th weigh in = 208

Back to School Goal: August 17 weigh in = 200


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Week 10

May 18, 2009 at 3:23 pm (Uncategorized)

I am finding my focus again.  I made it to the gym  4 times this week.  Food was not my friend.  I don’t think I was eating enough.  I really need to go to Publix but I just didn’t feel like.

Week 10 weigh-in: 219.2 TWL -21.6 lbs

Only 4 more pounds to reach my goal before I weigh in on June 1st.  I tried to kick up my gym routine Saturday… instead of just using the elliptical I decided to start on the tread mill.  I walked for 5 minutes and then did 2 minute sprints.  I kept that up for 30 minutes and thought I was going to die. My legs were on fire.  I took a small break, filled up the water bottle and moved over to the elliptical for the rest of my work out.  Amy and I are supposed to go to yoga today after work and Audrey and I have tentative plans for yoga on Friday.

Now I need to try and find something that fits to wear to work.  Only 12 more days then its tank tops and shorts every day.  =)

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Week 9 – Diet and Exercise

May 12, 2009 at 3:31 am (Life, diets)

Ugh, week eight sucked. I managed not to gain but it still sucked.

5/11/09 Weigh in – 222.2 TWL -18.6lbs

That is so not the weight loss I wanted to see but I did nothing to really make a difference this week. I went to the gym once. Wednesday. That was it. My laziness was due to yet another excuse… I had aftercare payments. It took everything in me to get to the gym today. Do I feel better about myself…yes. The last 10 minutes dragged out though. I want to try the 7:30 yoga class on Thursday. Maybe I can get my friend to go with me.

Another reason why I felt so crappy is my horrific shopping experience I had Saturday afternoon. One of my BFF’s was having her birthday celebration at Blue Martini so I wanted something nice and new to wear. I was really hoping to get a dress that was reasonable that I could wear again for the last day of school party. Yeah, not so much luck at the stupid mall. I was there for 3 and a half hours and got nothing to wear but a new pair of shoes. Granted I needed the shoes but I WANTED a cute top or dress. I tried on anything and everything in Macy’s. It was either too expensive or too small still. I went up stairs to the “woman’s” department (or the fat lady section as I refer to it as) and that clothes was too big. *sigh* Being in between departments is even worse than in between sizes. You have no where to shop.

So I decided to venture out into the mall to other stores. HA what a freaking mistake that was. Did you know that express only goes up to 12 now? WTF is that? Does the company not understand that over one third of the female population is overweight and the average size is 12? Whatever. I’ll just add that store to my list of other stores I boycott like JCPenny’s. Back to my story… So Saturday night rolls around..I take a nap b/c I was tired from my pointless excursion and wake up to find that I have nothing to wear. I put on one outfit and my roomie tells me I look like I am headed to work. Conveniently enough, I bought the pants I had on for work. They fit but just were too casual. So I went in my room and lost it. I sobbed hysterically. I wasn’t crying because I thought she was being mean or anything but because it was true. I did look like I was going to work. Luckily my roommate is a great friend and lent me some jeans that were presentable and a tank top to wear under a top I had. I felt fat and gross and so defeated by the damn mall. Guess I should stick with Old Navy for the time being,where their 16’s make me happy. Overall I had fun Saturday night but deep inside was not truly happy because I gave in. I let myself down last week. I was lazy and full of excuses which is what led me to being my fat self anyway. Time to refocus and re-energize. I have a bathing suit to fit into next month.

*EDIT – 5/12

Well, this morning I weighed myself like I do every morning only to find the scale going in the opposite directions. 223.6 ARGH! I am in a piss poor mood today for that reason and a few others (waiting to hear from M about moving). I had a conference with a parent that didn’t show until it was 7:50 so I have to reschedule yet again. Just a crappy start to day 2 of my week. But the funny thing is that even though I felt gross this morning and didn’t want to get dressed I had SIX people stop me from the front office to my room and tell me how much thinner I was looking. One of them was someone who I never would have thought would mention my weight loss. It made me feel better for the 5 split seconds but then my funk settled back in.

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Week 8 -Diet and Exercise

May 4, 2009 at 3:30 pm (Life, diets, scales)

My goal for today was to weigh in at 225 lbs or less. I have been doing this whole diet thing now for a full 7 weeks…

5/4 weigh in – 223.8lbs. TWL -17.0 lbs

I met my goal plus a little! Plus I had a very off weekend as far as dietary consumption went. I had Talai’s b-day party and game night on Saturday so I am very lucky I didn’t binge like I would have before.

On Saturday, in between the birthday party and game night, I swung by Old Navy to return some pants. I decided to try and find some stuff on sale (because all my clothes are too big). I bought my first pair of 16’s – 2 pairs actually. I have not bought 16’s in probably about 4 or 5 years. This made me very happy. Probably the highlight of my week. I tried on some tops and fit into XL rather than the XXL. The diet seems so much easier when you can actually see the payoff of it.

I am starting week 8 today. Getting to the gym might be more of a challenge for me b/c I work until 6/6:30 almost every day. I will bring my clothes and see how tired I am after work.I am going to begin my alternating days of weight training. I am losing the pounds with the cardio but I need to start with the strength training. I don’t want to be jiggly. LOL.

My next goal…

For my 6/1 weigh in which will be week 12 (and the last week of school – woot!) my goal weight is 215lbs. I have a family vacation in about 6 weeks and I need to look my best for the beach!

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It’s May Baby!

May 3, 2009 at 4:09 pm (Life)

Happy May!  The summer is almost here!!!  I have only 23 short days of school left.  I can’t wait.  This school year has been so wild (good and bad): moving grade levels, moving homes, finding M, losing N, funerals, making some new friends, and overall trying to make my life more enjoyable.  I can only hope this summer is just as wild (minus the funerals).

My summer vacation with the family is coming up quick.  Its about 6 weeks away.  I am really looking forward to getting away for a bit.  Hopefully, I will make it up to my cousin’s house afterwards and visit them.  The fam is headed back to Little Gaspirilla Island, Fl for vacation.  It really is a neat little place.  The island is boat access only.  No cars, stores, commercial buildings, nothing.  The trip to publix is a bit annoying but lets hope we get it all in one trip.  This place has the best shelling I have ever seen.  The most beautiful sand dollars.  A lot of them are perfect, not a chip missing from them.

Tree had a birthday party for little Talia yesterday.  She is one already!  They sure do grow up quick.  I think it was a perfect day.  The weather was great, lots of friends and family around.  The water park (TY Castaway Island) was adorable!  I felt very lucky to spend such an important day with them, she is such a good little girl.  There was one brief moment where I let my mind wander too much and got a little bothered because I sometimes feel like I’ll never it (the family and kids package) but I got over myself quickly.  Dwelling on things like that isn’t good for my psyche.  I just need to man up and wait my turn.  =)

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Week 7 – diet and exercise

April 28, 2009 at 3:23 pm (Uncategorized)

Missed my weigh in yesterday (prolly a good thing).

Tuesdays weigh in: 226 lbs  TWL -14.8

I am only 1 pound away from my 225lb goal for next monday’s weigh in.  I can do it! woo-woo! Still a almost 15 pound weight loss in the last 6 weeks is pretty damn impressive.  I actually weighed 244.0 back in January but I didn’t start blogging about my attempt at weight loss until March.

I did not do a damn thing for exercise last week.  Talk about lazy.  I finally went and bought some new sneakers.  It was actually a quite entertaining experience.  I went to the mall *gasp* and walked into the first sneaker store I saw (finish line).  The young man that got stuck with me what very helpful as I made my first purchase of a pair of Nikes.  I just remember as a kid we never bought Nike b/c of the whole sweatshop thing and that was something that stuck with me.  I wore them yesterday to the gym…pretty comfy actually.  AND they have the spot in the sole for the ipod chip that syncs with your ipod!

Yesterday at the gym, I went to my first yoga class with Amy.  It was not as hard as I imagined it would be but I did sweat my butt off.  I tried to keep up as best as possible and some poses I could barely fake (like the tree pose?).  I want to try it again (maybe with a different instructor I can understand!) After yoga, I still went and ellipticized for a bit.  I have some serious gym time to make up from my absence for the last 2 weeks.  But I have no more excuses…I got new sneakers and found my ipod and headphones. Darn it!

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Relay for Life

April 21, 2009 at 8:03 am (Life)
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One in three people will be diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime.  ONE IN THREE!  That is a shocking statistic.  Think about the people you know whether your family, friend, or a friend of a friend.  You could be that one.  I can list at least half a dozen people that I know that are either cancer survivors or that lost their battle with cancer.

If you have been reading my blog for a while you know I go on about my worries about heart disease, diabetes, and obesity but I never mention my concern with cancer.  As I get older and realize the importance of each day we have, it becomes more prevalent in my life.  My grandmother (mom’s mom) had ovarian cancer and died from it when I was very young.  Since my first trip to the gyno, my mom has embedded in my head to make sure I tell the dr. about grandma.  I do, every doctor, every visit.

Back to Relay…I attended a RFL event last Friday.  A group of us from work gathered together to celebrate the lives of the cancer survivors we work with, their families, and the people we have lost to cancer over the years.  There is nothing I would have rather done with my Friday night, than spend it with those wonderful women.  Even though RFL has its sad moments, we were definitely the most “spirited” group on the track.  We would hoot and holler at our walkers or anyone we really found interesting enough to holler at!  The candle lighting ceremony was by far the most amazing moment of the evening. Watching the track light up with all the luminarias, each representing a lost loved one or a survivor, while bagpipers walked the track playing.  This ceremony really had me at a loss for words with the recent death of my grandmother (dad’s mom) and remembering the funeral of my grandfather (dad’s dad) where we also had bagpipes.  I did not lose either of them to cancer but it was still a loss that is felt each holiday and milestone in life.  We long for those we have lost either to cancer, stroke, heart disease, or any other ailment.

My point here…find something to support whether it be a cure for cancer, aids or Parkinson’s, just help to support something.  You could be assisting in finding a cure to save your life, your child’s or your child’s child.

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